Afukua MAITI na kufanya nayo Mapenzi

Kijana mwenye umri wa miaka 20 wa nchi ya kusini mwa Amerika ya Guyana amewashangaza watu wengi kwa kitendo chake cha kufukua maiti ya bibi wa miaka 75 na kisha kufanya nayo mapenzi. Kijana huyo aliyetajwa kwa jina la Roopram Bacchus ambaye hufanya kazi ya kuokota taka, alipandishwa kizimbani ijumaa kujibu mashtaka yanayomkabili. Bacchus alikiri mashtaka aliyofunguliwa ya kufanya mapenzi na maiti.
Kijana huyo alikiri kulifukua kaburi la bibi mwenye umri wa miaka 75 na kisha kufanya mapenzi na maiti yake. Bacchus alijitetea kuwa ana matatizo ya kupenda sana pombe ambayo ndiyo iliyompelekea akafanya kitendo hicho. Jaji aliamuru afanyiwe uchunguzi wa akili zake na alimuamuru alipe faini ya dola 200 za Kimarekani. Atatupwa jela mwaka mmoja kama akishindwa kulipa faini hiyo. Kamanda wa polisi wa eneo hilo, Steve Merai alisema kuwa Bacchus alilifukua kaburi la bibi huyo siku moja baada ya bibi huyo kuzikwa.
"Bacchus alilivunja jeneza, aliitoa maiti toka kwenye jeneza na alifanya nayo mapenzi", alisema kamanda huyo wa polisi. Kamanda huyo wa polisi aliongeza kuwa Bacchus na familia ya bibi huyo walikuwa ni majirani.

IM CRAZZY BUT IM NOT STUPID - UUUUUUUUUUUUUWIII SOMA HII

One truck driver was doing his usual delivery to IMH (Institute of mental health).
He discovered a flat tyre when he was about to go home. He jacked up the truck and took the flat tyre down. When he was about to fix the spare tyre, he accidentally dropped all the bolts into the drain.. As he can't fish the bolts out, he started to panic. One patient happened to walk past and asked the driver what happened. The driver thought to himself, since there's nothing much he can do; he told the patient the whole incident. The patient laughed at him said "can't even fix such a simple problem.... no wonder you are destined to be a truck driver..." Here's what you can do, take one bolt each from the other 3 tyres and fix it onto this tyre. Then drive to the nearest workshop and replace the missing ones, easy as that" The driver was very impressed and asked "You're so smart but why are you here at the IMH?"

Patient replied: "Hello, I stay here because I'm crazy....... not STUPID !"

Raia wa wahofia kupotea Afrika

Wasiwasi unazidi kuongezeka juu ya usalama wa wakurugenzi wa migodi ambao ni raia wa Australia kutokana na ndege yao kutokujulikana ilipo. Ndege hiyo ilikuwa ikitokea Cameroon kuelekea Jamhuri ya Kidemokrasia ya Kongo. Abiria tisa walikuwepo kwenye ndege hiyo, akiwemo mmoja wa matajiri wakubwa wa Australia Ken Talbot (pichani). Kundi hilo lilitoka katika mji mkuu wa Cameroon, Yaounde siku ya Jumamosi kutembelea miradi ya madini ya chuma huko Yangadou, eneo lililo kijijini huko Kongo.

Ken Talbot, tajiri mkubwa Australia, ambaye naye hajulikani alipo Jeshi la Cameroon linaongoza msako wa ardhini na angani kwenye msitu mkubwa sana. Ndege waliyokuwa wakisafiria lilikodishwa na kampuni ya migodi ya Australia, Sundance Resources. Eneo walilotembelea ni pamoja na mradi wa Mbalam linalosambaa mpaka Cameroon na Congo, ambapo Sundance Resources lina matumaini ya kupata tani milioni 35 ya madini ya chuma kwa mwaka. Shirika la habari la AFP limemnukuu waziri wa mambo ya nje wa Australia Stephen Smith akisema, " Tuna wasiwasi mkubwa juu ya usalama wao."Sundance Resources imesema baada ya kuripotiwa kuwa ndege haikutua siku ya Jumamosi jitihada zake zimelenga kusaidiana na mamlaka za Cameroon, Congo na nchi jirani ya Gabon.Taarifa iliyotolewa na kampuni hiyo imesema " shughuli zote zimesimamishwa, huku raslimali zote zikielekezwa kwenye jitihada za msako na uokozi."Msemaji wa ofisi ya wizara ya mambo ya nje ya Uingereza amesema wafanyakazi wa Cameroon walikuwa wanajaribu kutambua nani alikuwa kwenye ndege hiyo, baada ya mashirika ya habari kuripoti kuwa Waingereza wawili walikuwa miongoni mwa abiria hao."Tumepata taarifa hizo na tunafanya uchunguzi. Wafanyakazi wetu wa ubalozini wamekuwa wakiwasiliana na balozi ndogo ya Australia."

Mamilioni ya watu wanakosa maji ya kunywa China kutokana na hali hii ya mafuriko

Cameroon yawa ya kwanza kuaga mashindano ya Kombe la Dunia

 Camerooon imekuwa timu ya kwanza kuondolewa kwenye mashindano ya Kombe la Dunia 2010 nchini Afrika Kusini baada ya kushindwa mabao 2-1 na Denmark mjini Pretoria. Cameroon ndiyo waliotangulia kufunga katika dakika ya 10 kupitia nahodha wao Samuel Eto'o, akimalizia pasi ya Achille Webo.  Katika dakika ya 33, Nicklas Bendtner, aliisawazishia Denmark baada ya kupokea pasi ndefu kutoka kwa Simon Kjaer. Bao la ushindi la Denmark lilifungwa katika dakika ya 61 na Dennis Rommedahl baada ya kumzidi kasi Jean Makoun kutokea upande wa kulia wa uwanja.  Indomitable Lions bado wana mechi moja iliyosalia dhidi ya Uholanzi ambayo tayari imekwishafuzu kwa raundi ya pili, na hata ushindi katika mechi hiyo hautaiwezesha Cameroon kusonga mbele. Nafasi ya pili ya kufuzu miongoni mwa 16 bora kutoka kundi E itang'ang'aniwa na Denmark na Japan, Alhamisi ijayo, timu hizo mbili zimekwishaifunga Cameroon. Uholanzi ilifuzu mapema Jumamosi baada ya kuifunga Japan bao 1-0.

Kondom zenye meno zazinduliwa rasmi Afrika Kusini

Kondomu mpya kwaajili ya wanawake zenye meno kwaajili ya kuwafundisha adabu wabakaji zimezinduliwa nchini Afrika Kusini. Kondomu hizo zinazoitwa "Rape-aXe" zilikuwa ni ndoto ya miaka 40 ya daktari wa nchini Afrika Kusini, Dr Sonnet Ehlers ambaye wakati akiwa na umri wa miaka 20 akisomea udaktari alikutana na mwanamke aliyebakwa ambaye alikuwa akilalamika sana. Mwanamke huyo alimuambia Ehlers "Natamani kama kungekuwa na meno huko chini, ningemfundisha adabu yule". Ehlers alisema kuwa alimwahidi mwanamke huyo kuwa siku moja atatengeneza kitu cha kuwasaidia.Katika kuthibitisha ahadi yake, Ehlers amezindua kondomu kwaajili ya wanawake zinazoitwa "Rape-Axe" ambazo zimeanza kutumika wakati huu wa kombe la dunia. Kondomu hizo zina kitu kama meno kwa ndani. Mwanamke anayeivaa kondomu hiyo anapobakwa, meno katika kondomu hiyo huunasa uume kama pingu. Kondomu hiyo inaponasa kwenye uume, huwa haitoki kirahisi na mtu anapolazimisha kuitoa ndivyo inavyozidi kuubana uume kwa meno yake. Ni madaktari pekee ndio wanaoweza kuinasua kondomu hiyo hivyo kuwawezesha madaktari kuwagundua wabakaji kirahisi na kuwaripoti polisi. "Inasababisha maumivu makali", Ehlers aliiambia televisheni ya CNN katika mahojiano na televisheni hiyo kuhusiana na kondomu hizo. "Mbakaji hataweza kukojoa wala kutembea wakati inaponasa kwenye uume wake, kama atajaribu kuitoa kwa nguvu, itaubana zaidi uume wake", alisema Ehlers. Ehlers anasambaza jumla ya kondomu 30,000 kwa wanawake nchini Afrika Kusini ili wajilinde na wabakaji wakati wa fainali za kombe la dunia zinazoendelea nchini humo.

Hata hivyo kondomu hizo zimekumbwa na malalamiko toka kwa watu ambao wanahofia kondomu hizo zinaweza kutumiwa vibaya na wanawake kuwakomesha wanaume. Mwanamke mwenye hasira kwa mpenzi wake anaweza kuzitumia kondomu hizo kumuaibisha mpenzi wake. Hatari nyingine iliyoelezwa kuhusiana na kondomu hizo ni mwanamke kushambuliwa na mwanaume mbakaji kwa hasira za maumivu atakayoyapata.

Ehlers kwa upande wake amezitetea kondomu hizo kuwa zinahitajika ili kupunguza idadi ya wanawake wanaobakwa kila siku nchini Afrika Kusini.

Ungekuwa wewe ungefanyaje?

Whether Conservative, Liberal or Labour , I think you'll get a kick out of this!

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'

Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People. The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we will call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense.' So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy. So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep. not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now. ' The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.' The little boy replies, 'The Prime Minister is screwing the Working Class while the government is sound asleep. The people are being ignored and the Future is in deep s**t.'